"Smacked Cucumber"

Ingredients

267 long cucumber
534 cloves garlic, pressed
400½ tbsp black vinegar
534 tsp light soy sauce
267 tbsp tahini
267 tsp sesame oil
267 pinch sugar
267 tbsp sichuan chilli oil

Method

Peel cucumber leaving alternating stripes
Cut cucumber in half
Quarter each half lengthways
Scoop out seeds
Bruise cucumber
Slice into inch-thick pieces
Whisk remaining ingredients into a sauce
Toss cucumbers in sauce and serve with chili oil