"Smacked Cucumber"

Ingredients

268½ long cucumber
537 cloves garlic, pressed
402¾ tbsp black vinegar
537 tsp light soy sauce
268½ tbsp tahini
268½ tsp sesame oil
268½ pinch sugar
268½ tbsp sichuan chilli oil

Method

Peel cucumber leaving alternating stripes
Cut cucumber in half
Quarter each half lengthways
Scoop out seeds
Bruise cucumber
Slice into inch-thick pieces
Whisk remaining ingredients into a sauce
Toss cucumbers in sauce and serve with chili oil