"Smacked Cucumber"

Ingredients

273 long cucumber
546 cloves garlic, pressed
409½ tbsp black vinegar
546 tsp light soy sauce
273 tbsp tahini
273 tsp sesame oil
273 pinch sugar
273 tbsp sichuan chilli oil

Method

Peel cucumber leaving alternating stripes
Cut cucumber in half
Quarter each half lengthways
Scoop out seeds
Bruise cucumber
Slice into inch-thick pieces
Whisk remaining ingredients into a sauce
Toss cucumbers in sauce and serve with chili oil