"Smacked Cucumber"

Ingredients

486½ long cucumber
973 cloves garlic, pressed
729¾ tbsp black vinegar
973 tsp light soy sauce
486½ tbsp tahini
486½ tsp sesame oil
486½ pinch sugar
486½ tbsp sichuan chilli oil

Method

Peel cucumber leaving alternating stripes
Cut cucumber in half
Quarter each half lengthways
Scoop out seeds
Bruise cucumber
Slice into inch-thick pieces
Whisk remaining ingredients into a sauce
Toss cucumbers in sauce and serve with chili oil